Stupid Woman, I Love You!
by FuutaSohma135790
Summary: Hiro always viewed Tohru Honda as a rival for Kisa's attention. But when Hiro begins to realize his feelings about the two girls may be REVERSED, chaos soon follows. Especially if Akito has anything to do with it...
1. Chapter 1

Stupid Woman, I Love You!

By FuutaSohma135790

**Description: **Hiro has always disliked Tohru with a passion. From before he even met her, in fact. To him, she was always his competition in his fight to win Kisa over. But when he begins to see her in a very different way, all hell in the Sohma family will break loose.

**WARNING: **Look… It's rated M for a reason. Most of my stories are/will be rated M. So if you don't like very graphic sex, LEAVE. Otherwise, have fun. ;) Tags for M rating include: Underage sex, language, Shigure's general perversion, smut, lemon, etc. etc… No room for a rape scene this time. Maybe when I write my Ichigo x Rukia story. MAYBE…

Author's note: Hey everyone! So it's now my second story…! YAY! So excited! Anyway, I'm typing this exact sentence at 12:06 A.M., and I plan to finish the first chapter by 2:00 A.M. So if it's a little confusing, I apologize. I usually work better in the middle of the night, but sometimes I slip up…

Anyway, enough of that. Enjoy the first chapter of many in my new story!

Chapter 1

Hiro sighed. He just couldn't spin the current situation in a good way. He tried and tried, but no matter how he saw it, it was always the same thing: Stuck at Shigure's house for a week. His mother, Satsuki, had gone into labor last night, and Hiro needed a place to stay while she was in the hospital with a premature baby. _"So what genius stuck me HERE of all places?!" _

On the flip side, it meant seeing Kisa more often. Every day, in fact. As soon as school got out, Kisa went to do homework with Tohru. But today was Sunday, and that meant no school, and that meant no tiger. Hiro had finally forced himself out of bed around noon, and only because he was hungry. Now he was waiting for lunch to be made.

"Good morning, Hiro-kun!" Tohru came bounding in with a big platter of tea.

"It's 12o'clock, stupid woman. And what's so good about today, anyway? And where's lunch? It doesn't take this long to make rice. Are you trying to deprive your house guest of food?"

"N-no! I was just-"

"Just what? Talking back? Are you stalling because you forgot to cook the rice again?"

Kyo burst into the kitchen. "HEY! Show some damn respect! We're feeding you and letting you live here, so be grateful! Stop acting like a spoiled brat!"

"N-no, really it's fine! Lunch is almost ready, and-" Tohru began.

"And you! Stop doing everything he says…!"

*DING!*

"Oh, that's the rice! The salmon is ready too, so lunch is ready, everyone!" Tohru yelled into the direction of Yuki's room and Shigure's library. "I'll just go get it and bring it out here."

As Tohru turned to go back into the kitchen, she knocked the tea tray she had set on the table right into Hiro's lap. "H-Hiro-kun! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'll go get a towel! Wait here!"

Hiro just sat there, to pissed to say anything. _"That stupid woman! She's so freakin' clumsy! Can't she even walk normally?!"_

"I'm back, Hiro! Here, let me get that!"

"Stupid woman! I can do it myself!"

After a short fight over the towel, Hiro was in possession of the towel… But Tohru had fallen strait into Hiro, transforming him into a sheep. At that precise moment, Kyo walked back in with Yuki and Shigure.

"What the hell…"

"Hiro! What the fuck did you do?!"

Shigure just laughed the whole time…

"Baaah! Baaaaaah!" _"What the hell do you mean, what did I do?! This is HER fault!" _

And then, in one of the shortest Sohma family transformations ever, Hiro turned back into a human. Naked. On Tohru. BLUSHING, of all things.

But why was he blushing?

If he loved Kisa as much as he thought he did, why would he blush? He'd turned back in front of Tohru twice before. So why now…?

Author's note, Part II: I'm more interested in Shigure, Kyo and Yuki's reactions… Anyway: It's crap. I realize that. And I apologize. The next chapters will be better, with Hiro realizing his true emotions, etc. etc. For now, just try to bear with me… Please… The first two chapters are always the hardest…

Songs listened to while I wrote this chapter:

A Tale of Six Trillion Years and One Night by Ia (12 People Chorus)

Otsukimi Recital (Moon-Viewing Recital) by Ia

Rolling Girl by Yuzuki Yukari

Rolling Girl (Vocaloid Chorus)

Rolling Girl by Meiko Sakine


	2. Chapter 2

Stupid Woman, I Love You!

By FuutaSohma135790

**Description: **Hiro has always disliked Tohru with a passion. From before he even met her, in fact. To him, she was always his competition in his fight to win Kisa over. But when he begins to see her in a very different way, all hell in the Sohma family will break loose.

**WARNING: **Still rated M, guys. It didn't change. It's still smut, lemon, sex with a minor, all that good stuff…

Author's note: Wow… I promise the second chapter will be much better than the first… Trust me. So enjoy!

Chapter 2

"U-um…? H-Hiro-kun? A-Are you okay?" Tohru was about as confused as humanly possible at the moment. In a matter of 2 minutes, they had gone from lunch being ready to Hiro naked on top of Tohru. And so, of course, Hiro just HAD to be blushing heavily.

"I-I'M FINE, DAMNIT! TURN AROUND SO I CAN CHANGE!"

Tohru quickly looked the other way while Hiro got off her and changed back into his clothes. During this time, Yuki, the only rational male in the room at the moment, had to drag both Kyo and Shigure away from the scene; Kyo so he wouldn't beat Hiro to a pulp, Shigure so he would SHUT UP and stop laughing.

When Tohru turned back around, Hiro was the only other person left in the room. And he was EXTREAMLY confused. He couldn't understand why he was STILL blushing. Tohru had seen him once before.

Last August, during Ritsu's birthday party, the monkey was going through the normal phase of screaming and apologizing to every living being on Earth, when he fell into Hiro and pushed him into Tohru. Tohru had brought the sheep inside, along with his clothes, so he wouldn't be naked in front of everyone. And after a long and touching pep-talk to try and calm him down, Hiro had transformed. Tohru quickly looked away, but not before she had seen him full nude. He didn't seem to mind back then, which was strange by itself, but the pep-talk had left him feeling an emotion he had never felt for Tohru before: Respect. And it slowly began to grow into something else, something frightening, something Hiro didn't want to even admit to himself. So he pretended to be completely oblivious to what was happening to his and Tohru's relationship. But everyone else was noticing, especially Tohru herself, that he was beginning to tolerate her more.

But today had been a bad day to begin with. Hiro didn't want to add "accidental love-connfession" to his list of things to-do today, so he hid his blush by facing away from Tohru.

"Stupid Woman!"

"Oh! Y-yes, Hiro-kun?"

"Can you please bring lunch out now?"

Tohru was shocked. Hiro had NEVER shown kindness to her like this. It was TOTALLY against what he thought! "O-oh! Um, s-sure, Hiro-kun! I'll be right back."

Hiro waited until she was gone to turn back around, his blush almost gone now. He sighed. _"What the hell was that? Why the hell am I blushing?" _Realization hit Hiro like a hard slap in the face. The emotion he was trying to conceal had finally come out to show itself to Hiro. And he didn't like what he was thinking. _"I… I love Tohru Honda…!"_

Author's note, part II: It's crap. Sue me. Anyway, at least it's better than Chapter 1… A lot better, I think… But for now, I'm just going to think of some ideas. So Chapter 3 will probably come out sometime in the next few days.

Songs listened to while I wrote this chapter:

Kokoro by Yowane Haku

Touhou 13.5 Hopeless Masquerade OST- Final Boss

Until Chapter 3, farewell, my beloved fans… (I know I have SOMEONE out there who cares… ) :b


	3. Chapter 3

**Stupid Woman, I Love You!**

By, FuutaSohma135790

**Description: **Hiro has always disliked Tohru with a passion. From before he even met her, in fact. To him, she was always his competition in his fight to win Kisa over. But when he begins to see her in a very different way, all hell in the Sohma family will break loose.

**WARNING: **M+++. Need I say more?

Author's Note: I'm hungry, I'm tired, and I'm bored. That is all. Carry on with the story.

Chapter 3

It had been two days since Hiro had confessed his love for Tohru to himself. During those last two days, Hiro had hardly said three words to anybody at Shigure's house. And every time he was near Tohru, he would blush and run back to his room as quickly as possible. He wasn't eating or drinking as much, and Tohru was the only thing on his mind 24/7. It didn't take long for Yuki, Kyo, Shigure, and Tohru to notice that something was very wrong. But when Hiro didn't go to school on Wednesday, the third day, they decided to get to the bottom of it. Since Hiro acted the strangest around Tohru, naturally they sent her up to Hiro's room to see if she could find out what was wrong.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

"Go away."

"Hiro, I wanted to talk to you, please… If you have a minute that is… Please?"

_"Damn! Why is she here…? This is bad… But I can't just ignore her…"_

"…H-hold on…"

Hiro crawled out of bed and slowly opened the door a crack. "What do you want, Stupid Woman?"

Tohru looked concerned. "Hiro-kun, why didn't you go to school today? You've been acting strangely ever since Sunday… Did something happen?"

Hiro snorted. _"You don't know the half of it…"_ "I'm fine. I just haven't been feeling good lately," he lied. "Could you bring dinner up to my room, please?"

Tohru was shocked. Hiro was actually being nice and not snapping at her! "Umm… O-okay, Hiro-kun. It'll be ready in about 15 minutes."

"…Thanks…" Hiro murmured before closing the door again.

Tohru came back downstairs into the living room where Yuki, Kyo, Shigure and Kisa were all waiting. "Well? What's wrong with him?" Kyo asked.

"I-I don't know. He said he wasn't feeling good and asked if I could bring his dinner up to his room."

Shigure thought for a moment. "Ah! But I heard no yelling. Was he being nice to you when he asked?"

Tohru nodded. "Yes. It was odd. He was being very polite…"

Shigure thought some more. "Maybe… Maybe… Hmm…"

"Shigure, what are you talking about now?" Yuki asked, starting to get annoyed at the whole situation. _"Hiro isn't our problem… Why are we even discussing this…_"

"Well," Shigure began, grinning. "Perhaps our young sheep has developed an adolescent crush on Tohru… Personally, I think-"

Yuki and Kyo cut Shigure off with a slap to the face. "No one cares what you think, weirdo. Hiro doesn't like Tohru, remember? Or did your stupidity make you forget?" Yuki asked rhetorically and coldly.

Shigure pretended to look hurt. "Kisa, Tohru, come help poor Shigure. Yuki's being mean!"

"Pervert! Get away from Tohru! And Kisa too!" Kyo yelled.

*DING*

"Oh, dinner is ready! U-umm… Do you mind serving yourselves while I take Hiro's food up to him?"

"Of course, Miss Honda. It's no trouble at all."

"Thank you! I'll be right back!"

Halfway up the stairs, she could hear Kyo and Yuki arguing.

"Hey! Why is mine the only one with leeks in it?!"

"You stupid cat, that's Kisa's."

"SHUT UP! NO ONE ASKED YOU!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Once at Hiro's room, Tohru knocked quietly on the door. "Hiro? Dinner's ready. It's miso soup and tuna. And I brought you some milk."

Hiro walked over and opened the door. "Thanks Tohru."

Tohru smiled and handed Hiro the bowl. "Do you want anything else Hiro?"

"N-no. I'm fine, thanks."

Tohru gave a confused half-smile. "O-okay. I'll see you later, then." But as she turned to leave, she tripped onto Hiro. AGAIN. Luckily, Hiro had put the soup and fish down on the table. But he still had the milk in his hand, and that went flying into the wall while Tohru landed on the floor with a pissed off sheep.

Hiro, forgetting about his confusing feelings, tried to say, _"You stupid woman! Do you ever go a day without tripping onto someone?!"_ But it all came out as "Baaaah! Baaaa Baa Baaaaaaah!"

"H-Hiro-kun! I'm so sorry!"

Hiro then proceeded to cuss Tohru out in sheep-talk. And then transform on top of her naked again. Hiro's face turned the same color as a fresh, ripe apple. _"Oh shit!"_

**Authors note: I'm no longer hungry 'cuz I found food. YAY MIDNIGHT SNACKING! (More like 2:30 a.m. snacking…)**

**Chapter 4 coming soon!**


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